3 Things to do when you're feeling depressed or "down"

Countless people are affected by depression, negativity, and hopelessness.

Important Note:

A coach is not a licensed mental health professional and any advice or commentary here should not in any way be considered medical advice. Depression can be a serious, medical issue. If you are experiencing depression, please seek out a qualified mental health counselor and do not use this discussion, or any other article, blog, or material on the internet as a substitute for a qualified mental health professional. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide call one of the suicide hotlines: 800-SUICIDE (888-487-0468) and 800-273-TALK (866-699-0189). If you have a plan for suicide then go to the closest emergency room immediately for medical treatment.

In my own personal circle I am seeing an amazing rise in the levels of depression and people willing to be brave enough to openly talk about their struggles with depression.

Studies show that in the United States this is not a phenomenon that is isolated to my own personal circle as studies indicate that the number of people being treated for depression has swelled by 33 percent since 2013.

With these diagnoses, we’ve also seen an uptick in prescription pharmaceuticals to treat depression and different therapeutic approaches to helping people get better.

These conventional methods are life changing for some and only modest for others. The NYTimes pointed out thatresults for medication treating depression are relatively modest which makes it all the more important to figure out ways to manage your state and to root out anything in your life that might be causing you pain and suffering. 

While coaching is not used to medically treat depression - there are some coaching techniques, when combined with the appropriate mental health treatment, that are designed to help you take control of your state, emotions, and overall well-being.

1. Make a change - Many people who are experiencing depression are simply unhappy with their lives and in need of a change or overhaul in their lives. They either have unfulfilled goals, are living outside of their own values or moral code, or experiencing any other type of incongruency. Where this turns from unhappiness to persistent depression is when people feel helpless to change their situation - a thought that is almost never true. Often times, changes or goals seem too big. When you find yourself in a situation like this, start thinking of baby steps towards whatever it is you want. Each baby step you take will change your depression to anticipation and excitement. Growth is happiness. The fulfillment of a goal or a life transition is not what will make you happy, it’s the journey you take to get there. Evaluate what you want out of life, decide to get it, and start moving and your depression may just vanish.
2. ​​Emotions are something you do, not something that happen to you - People who lose control of their emotions are often people who believe that emotions are something that happen to them which renders them powerless. Many emotions are legitimate, of course, but more often than we realize they are very much under our control. Once you master highly important skills like understanding the triad (taking control of your physiology, focus, and language) you can learn how to change your mood in an instant. So many of us like to step into our depression, play our favorite Cure song, lay in bed, hold our head down, and focus on the source of our pain that we don’t realize if we just change our physiology, focus, and language (inner and outer dialogue), our mood changes with it. Try to smile, dance, and think about your greatest day ever and feel depressed at the same time - it’s not easily done. Harvard even performed a study indicating that changing your nonverbal behavior (physiology) changed people’s brain, people’s perception, hireability, and more. This simple  idea is so exciting and groundbreaking  it even made an appearance in the popular television show Grey’s Anatomy:
3. Your depression may be serving your needs -Well respected therapist (and one of my coach trainers) Cloe Madanes gives gentle pushback to the growing  numbers of people being diagnosed with depression and is quick to point out that many people who are depressed are actually meeting their needs through depression. Meaning depression is a subconscious vehicle people use can get love, affection, power, and more.  She went as far to say this on her Facebook page:​

Be conscious of your emotions and aware of the ways you use them so that this does not happen.” Take her advice and be aware of how your depression is serving you and fulfilling your 6 human needs. For most, this happens on an unconscious level and is not a planned behavior pattern. After that, do an honest assessment of your six human needs, figure out where your depression is helping you, and find other more healthy ways to meet those same needs.

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If you’re experiencing depression, please don’t do so alone. Please find yourself the help you need and understand that the world needs your amazing gifts. There are many great resources to find a mental health counselor including the listings at Psychology Today.


Important Note:

A coach is not a licensed mental health professional and depression can be a serious, medical issue. If you are experiencing depression, please seek out a qualified mental health counselor and do not use this discussion, or any other article, blog, or material on the internet as a substitute for a qualified mental health professional. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide call one of the suicide hotlines: 800-SUICIDE (888-487-0468) and 800-273-TALK (866-699-0189). If you have a plan for suicide then go to the closest emergency room immediately for medical treatment.