What is the role of stress in your life? Do you have too much of it? Do you manage it well? Do you avoid it all together?
Stress, left unmanaged and misunderstood, is both a silent killer of the body and the spirit. Stress, in the proper amounts and combined with the appropriate rest, is also the source of all your mental and physical growth.
Spending time with my 3 month old baby Francis is like getting to a watch a growth machine. A baby’s life is rapid growth and a constant cycle of physical and mental stress and rest leading to extreme amounts of growth from a blob to a functioning human being.
Watching him struggle with basic tasks like raising his head and rolling over and even just moving his arms and legs reminds me that stress isn’t something to be avoided, but something to embrace.
Master stress in your life by doing two things.
One of the major areas of life that Americans struggle with is achieving optimal health, their body, and their body image. While there are new businesses, trends, and fads sprouting up every day to help people achieve better health, the basics are incredibly well known - eat less, move more, and sleep enough.
Yet every day, people give up on their fitness goals whether that be running a marathon or just fitting into the next pant size down.
So what’s going wrong in a relatively simple and well-understood process? Is a life coach the missing key to weight loss?
People get stuck on the mechanics of time management which are relatively simple.
The thing that will make you feel less stressed about your time is being able to connect your day to day time usage with the bigger picture of you want to be as a person.
Does your time usage reflect your values?
There’s a scene in the classic comedy Zoolander where the main character’s life has fallen apart. He has had a singular focus his entire life - on his modeling career - and he feels that modeling career slipping away from him. He then sees his reflection and in a puddle and contemplates out loud “Who am I?” As a kid I watched this movie a ton with my friends and my brothers and now this question has become a jokingly serious mantra around my house.
Something I am constantly doing in my own life, and encouraging my clients to do, is evaluating and re-evaluating my values and goals. This is doubly true when I am at a crossroads or transition in your life as the lack of clarity will cause you much more stress in your moments of decision.
It’s no secret that who you spend time with determines who you are. Your friends, family, coworkers - every second you spend with them you are being shaped. Hopefully someone’s told you this and it shouldn’t surprise you to hear that if you are spending your time with optimistic, happy, winners - that you are more inclined to be optimistic, happy, and find ways to “win” (however you define winning).
If you want to be happier, you should extend this to the media you consume, as much as you do the people with which you associate. In the era of podcasts, 24 hour news/entertainment, and social media, you are constantly telling your brain what to look for.
Almost everyone at some point in their life had a co-worker or a boss who was difficult to get along with (or just downright hateable). At its core, a professional relationship between two people isn’t really different than a friendship or a romantic relationship with someone - other than the fact that it feels forced because you both need to be there for other reasons like having to pay your bills. And when we recognize this, we have tremendous opportunity to grow in our professional lives by treating these office problems as the interpersonal problems they truly are.
People today are working so hard that burnout is on the tip of all our tongues -especially those of us who are students of exceptional performance or are exceptional performers ourselves.
Hard work has always been valued in our culture, but has made a strong comeback with the “hustle culture” promoted by personalities like Gary Vaynerchuk (who clearly leans on tip 3 and 4 btw).
The thing about hard work is that, like almost anything, it is a skill that people need to practice to become proficient. If you don’t master the skill of working hard then you’re going to flame out or burn out and people who are burnt out aren't going to inspire people with their performance.
If you have been feeling down about your job or are thinking about moving on or starting a new career, then you're probably burnt out.
Here are the best ways to deal with your burnout:
People transitioning from one phase of life to another are often the best candidates for coaching and new moms and dads embody that more than most.
At my house we just added our third baby to the family which has given me a strong reminder about the need to be mentally prepared for the task of expanding your family. I know these strategies inside and out, but sometimes when you’re in the thick of it, it’s a great time to slow down, consult your own coach, and make sure these strategies are playing out in life the way they do in a textbook or in your head before the baby comes.
For those of you who don’t yet have a coach, this knowledge will be a great starting point or reminder as you move down the road on your parenting journey.
There’s no such thing as talent. And if there were, it wouldn't matter anyway.
I've been telling this to people for years and no one ever believes I'm telling the truth and I absolutely am.
Most people love to admire the talent of their favorite athlete, singer, writer, business person, or whoever, but I guarantee you, talent played a minimal role in their success. Instead, their hard work, persistence, and clarity of purpose was the driving force behind their greatness.
Cheating on a significant other or spouse, as far as the United States goes, is the most evil thing a person can do. While most other moral issues fall into many shades of gray, infidelity is still very much black and white for so much of the world.
On the other hand, cheating is becoming more commonplace for men and women (very much so depending on how wide you want to draw the window of what you consider cheating).
Now while I don’t condone cheating, it is one of the most understandable behaviors on Earth if we look at it through the lens of our 6 human basic needs that drive all human behavior: